Jehovah Rapha: My God Heals

For the last six years, I have battled clinical depression—a weight that felt impossible to bear, a diagnosis that consumed my identity. There were moments I couldn’t understand why God would allow me to carry this heaviness. There were years I resented Him for it. I was angry, confused, and convinced by the enemy that I was too broken, too far gone to be saved.

At my lowest, I decided to end it all. But even then, in the depths of my pain, the Lord came to me. He told me He had more for me—that my time had not yet come. I didn’t understand why or how, but God kept me. He sustained me.

Depression became a huge battle in my life, but through it, God developed the foundation of my faith. Even when I was angry, even when I couldn’t see Him, He was teaching me to depend on Him. In that darkness, I learned obedience. I learned to come to Him, even when I felt abandoned.

For years I walked this journey with the help of therapy and antidepressants, believing this was something I would carry for the rest of my life—until He called me home. I accepted it as my reality. I learned to trust God in the struggle.

This past winter, I went on a mission trip to Zambia with my team—now my family. While there, the Lord began to reveal something deep within my heart: resentment. Resentment from years of crying out to Him, from feeling unheard, from carrying this burden that I didn’t ask for.

It was during a time of worship and prayer that the Lord began restoring that broken piece of my heart. I could feel the weight lifting. A newfound peace settled over me. Little did I know, this was just the beginning of His healing.

One day, my team and I knelt before the Lord, praying in faith to Jehovah Rapha—the Lord who heals. We prayed with confidence, knowing that God is able and that He is willing.

“Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” — Matthew 8:2

Just like the man with leprosy who knelt before Jesus, we knelt in faith, trusting God’s perfect will. Jesus responded to that man, “I am willing. Be made clean.” And immediately, the man was healed.

I walked away from that moment full of faith, believing that the Lord would heal me. Later that night, during worship, He spoke directly to my heart:

“You are clean.”

Returning home from Africa, I can now say this with complete awe and gratitude: I have been healed. My Lord, Jehovah Rapha, has completely altered my brain structure and chemicals—something that is medically unheard of.

Clinical depression, which once gripped every part of my life, is gone. There is no trace of it in me. I’ve been completely freed from all symptoms and have stopped taking medication for the first time in several years. Thousands of prayers have been answered.

Depression has been the biggest battle I’ve faced, and at times, I questioned whether God could ever use me. But now I see that even in my darkest moments, He was working. He used my pain to build the foundation of my faith. He taught me to depend on Him, to trust Him even when I couldn’t see the way forward.

The Lord turned what the enemy meant for evil into something beautiful. He took my brokenness, my heaviness, my cries, and He made something so remarkable that He alone gets the glory.

To anyone struggling with depression, anxiety, or the weight of a diagnosis: I want you to know this truth.

Our God is able. Our God is willing.

You are not defined by your diagnosis. Your identity is not in your pain, your brokenness, or the lies the enemy has whispered to you. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and He desires to heal—not just physically but emotionally and spiritually.

If you are in the valley, don’t lose hope. Trust in His promises. Lean into His presence. And know this:

“By His stripes, we are healed.” — Isaiah 53:5

I stand here today, completely free, in awe of the goodness of God. I am clean because He is willing.

Thank you, Lord, for meeting me in my brokenness and for restoring what I thought was beyond repair. I praise You for the testimony You’ve written in my life.

To my team in Zambia—thank you for your prayers and for walking alongside me as family. To everyone still fighting, know this: The Lord is near. He is able. He is willing.

If the Lord says I am healed, then I will trust what He says.

Jehovah Rapha, You are good.

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” — Romans 15:13

Surrender. Trust. Receive. He is willing. He is faithful. He is our healer.